Loosing the Weight

Lately I've been hearing the words "You've lost weight! You look great!" from a lot of people. I've gotten questions about what I'm doing and how I did it, and honestly I had no idea. I didn't realize until I took my engagement shots how much weight I had actually gained. Am I fat? No, but I'm not exactly the skinny little girl I was in high school or my early college years.

But when did I put on the weight? How did this go unnoticed? I remember when my grandmother pointed out how fat I had become, and how hard I worked to get back down to my size 10 frame from a 14 borderline 16 (just eating right folks...seriously). But where did the weight come from?

I'm at home today by myself. Something I haven't been for this long in a long time. No where to go, just homework, housework, and the Lord. So, I asked, "Dad, what did I do to loose it? And where did it come from?" Dad (God) simply responded "It was emotional weight dear. You let go and you lost that weight. There is more, but thats why you're shedding pounds, you've been shedding emotional baggage."

Wow.

I remember all of the pain, hurt, and baggage that I carried through high school, but there was no weight (lbs) then because I choose to ignore my issues and problems as if they would go away once I went off to college. Sike! They magnified because I was on my own and dealing with more at one time then ever. Then I met Christ through a friend who cared enough to reach out to me and take me to Him. He cut open the roof and lowered me down before His feet daily until I understood His love. It was liberating, but not freeing. It didn't take away the baggage meeting Christ, but it let me know that I had a fighting chance at something better.

And I did. I got Kevin (in addition to all the other wonderful things Christ did in my life). I got a best friend, that same friend who placed me before Christ to love and cherish me for the rest of my life. It's breath-taking, and I can't explain how liberating God's love has been to me as Kevin has loved me. I see Christ in him daily. How he brushes back my hair, how he kisses me on my forehead, how he holds me when I'm angry, upset, or confused, and how he's cared when no one else has. And I know, it was all Christ reaching out and making His love tangible through Kevin. Kevin is a real and strong Christian man. He truly reflects Christ. And what I have discovered since we began dating in 2006 is that the more we grown in Christ, the more pounds I've dropped.

Kevin has literally loved the weight off. Hebrews 12:1 states "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Kevin has been my crowd, and has never left the bench. Many days, its been just him and Dad when I look up for inspiration to keep pushing, but God and God working in Kevin to stay put in my life has kept me from feeling alone. As I've run God's race in my life, as I follow God's will for me, with all the obstacles at time I feel like this race is more like a steeplechase than a marathon even! But it's my race, its the one God has marked out for me.

As I run, I drop the weight. I drop the pain of my past, the abuse, the neglect, the rape, the sexual abuse, the guilt of my past mistakes and current failures. As I run, I sweat under the intense pressure and fire that the Lord contains me in, but I drop the weight. Pounds are shedding as I feel lighter on the inside, I've discovered that it manifests in me on the outside.

My life has changed. My habits transformed, and slowly but surely, I'm dropping the weight. So if you see me and wonder, "Wow you look great! How did you do it?" I'll now respond, I trusted God when it didn't seem anyone could be trusted. I let myself be loved by God and then by the man he sent to find me. I admitted my faults before Him (God) and let Him lovingly but firmly craft me into so much more. I opened my eyes to God's goodness and that as His daughter and an heir I was worth so much more. I accepted the fact that I was lost in the world, in my sin, and in the filth of the abuse, but let God give me the royal treatment as a Queen when I came home. I ignored the haters. Yes I ignored those who told me that I was "too deep" all the time, that "it doesn't take all that", and that was just the Christians! I followed God's call even when it didn't make sense to school with no money, to move out on my own simply because he said so, and to STAY WITH KEVIN no matter what because in God's eye with us, "breaks" constituted separations and divorce. I learned to love those that spitefully used me, and love those who hate me. I learned to love. But the most important thing I did was I MADE A CHOICE.

I choose to stick with God, to trust His plan, and to follow Him. I made a choice each time I was convicted to bend to what the bible said not my own or public opinions. I made a choice to give over what I thought I controlled to God for His use and doing. Quite simply, I decided to follow Jesus wholeheartedly in 2005 and I haven't stopped yet. God has been faithful to me and I'm grateful that I can say God is my "life coach" and my "trainer" at the same time. I look to measure up to one person, Christ, and He has been my scale. Through Him I have become free. Through Christ alone have I become truly healthy, and that's my game plan.

Want to loose weight? Check your focus. Look inward before outward and be willing to shed the internal pounds before the external ones. Am I done yet? Absolutely not! But I promise it is encouraging to see change, and to just feel better about yourself.

So come on, join me. Get committed and drop the pounds!

Love,

Brittany

The Big Picture

I used to love puzzles. Absolutely adored them. They were cool, and I enjoyed putting the pieces together to make the bigger picture. I especially enjoyed the ones when I was younger that were only about 30-40 pieces. Children's puzzles were the best, especially as you got older. Did I love the challenge of a 100+piece puzzle every now and again, yes! But honestly, I always needed my dad's help with those.

There aren't a lot of activities I can remember my dad sitting down to do with me, but I can remember our puzzles. He loves them as well. He always challenged me with ones with more pieces, but never let me do it alone. He was always available for help or advice at any turn.

The first thing he would as me was, "Where is the box?" if I didn't already have it set up. I would point to it, how it was laying down, out of sight usually, and only referred to when I thought I needed it. I was often convinced that I could figure it out myself. He would always remind me that I can't put together the puzzle correctly with out the bigger picture. "You didn't make the puzzle Brittany," he would say, "so you need the actual design." Who knew that puzzles would teach me a lesson one day.

My dad has always been very wise, but I've come to find that my heavenly father is wiser. He is the same way with my life. When I was younger and immature, I loved putting my life together into whatever I liked or I thought fit the bigger picture. But as I got older, the pieces of my life grew and it became a lot harder to put it all together, especially since I could never see the top of the box.

Today, or rather this week I was reminded of those puzzles. How my dad was always around to help, and because he was bigger, could always see the picture I had trouble piecing together myself. God reminded me of the same thing. He gave me the "box" and let me get a glimpse of the bigger picture.

Its about serving and Glorifying Him...nothing else. Every piece of the puzzle adds up to that. Everything ultimately is about God and bring Him glory. My wedding, my marriage, which is more important, and every point of my life has to keep the big picture in mind.

I felt like this week I was reminded by my Dad (my heavenly Father), to "set the box up" and keep the bigger picture in mind. I may not know every piece of the puzzle, and its ok to surrender to His "master puzzle maker/assembler" skills. It's not always fun, or comfortable but in the end, the picture will be complete.

Seasons of Maturity (Psalm 1:3)

"... They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do..."

It's crazy to think that 5 years ago this time, I was enjoying my first days of college. Orientation week, the welcome parties, the move-in. Learning about the hotspots of campus, getting free para, etc. It was a brand new season of being on my own; a new place in my life where I was accountable to myself only. But there was something that I began to miss. I missed my friends and my car, I missed having the kind of money where I could go shopping at a whim, and I missed the security of feeling like I belonged. I had to find a new comfort zone, new people w/ common interests, and enjoy new classes with new teachers. Everything was new, and I had to change in order for the next four years of life to not be frustrating, regretful, and a waste of time and money. I had to grow. I had to mature. As much as I wanted to go back to being that popular senior in high school who had the world at his fingertips, I couldn't. I had to learn how to actually grip the world that was in front of me.

Before I knew it, 4 years passed and I was looking at myself in the mirror of my bathroom at the 23th st. dorm with my cap and gown on. "Wow. I'm done. This is it. Where did the time go? Am I ready to graduate? There's so much I didn't get to do. Did I really take advantage of my time here? What am I going to do now? " I was happy but...there I was again...having that familiar feeling of being moved from a place I'd finally grown into to something unknown. I was happy that I'd accomplished my goal of graduating from college. I walked across the stage with my family and girlfriend watching and cheering. I went to the Grad Alley Party and saw so many classmates and teachers that I was about to say goodbye to. I took the train to the new Yankee Stadium and became apart of the current of purple amidst the sea of other graduates pouring into the back gates. I watched the processional, speeches, and performances. And then it was done...my room was vacant of all things that marked my presence, my boxes were shipped, and I was on a bus at Penn Station headed through the tunnel for the last time. Mixed emotions ran through me as I watched the tall buildings get further and further away. Another season began.

Now here I stand. Engaged. Working. Wedding-planning and house-hunting. I spent the last couple of months frustrated because I seemed unproductive in my music. I wasn't getting the deep revelations to teach like before. I wasn't operating in some of my gifts like I was before. Is there something wrong with me? I was desperately trying to get in touch with God to see if I'd somehow gotten so far away from Him without knowing. But through a simple question posed by Brittany: "Do you feel like we've grown in our relationship?", my eyes and ears were opened. It's another season. God is not as concerned with me writing worship songs, teaching deep words, or even interpreting visions and dreams as He is about me learning to become a husband that can cover his wife. Instead of searching out the deep mysteries, I needed to learn how to have a devotional time with Brittany so we can start our day unified and focused on the Kingdom. Vision and dream interpretation doesn't mean much if I have no vision or discernment of where to lead my family. Now life's not just about me. It's about me and my future wife. The fruit for this season should be seen in my relationship with her and everything else pertaining to it.

My intention wasn't to make this a 'lesson' or 'devo' or something, but it's really a transparent view into my journey into man/husband-hood. For me, this scripture is not just a scripture but a principle that I'm learning to apply. David says that men (and women) of God bear fruit in each season, and that their leaves never wither. This preceding verse says the ability to do that comes from delighting and meditating on God's law. As I look more and more at my morning readings, I'm seeing that it's right in step with where God's leading me as far as character development and walking with Him, which in turn will make me the son I'm meant to be to Him and the husband I'm meant to be to Britt.

Balance vs Change

OK, so I'm in a season in my life where everything is changing. I mean everything. You name it, odds are something is happening. I've determined that this IS good thou! God is changing me to be more like Him, and conforming me to His image. With that being said, I pose these questions to my followers:

What are your priorities? How do you balance a busy lifestyle? More importantly, how do you adapt to the curve balls God throws you?

I'll respond this weekend with an update of the wedding plans to date! Love you all!

The God Chisel

In this time of transition, this skit by the Skit Guys blessed me so much today. Hope your encouraged by it today as well.

Reflecting God's Glory

So, we are in the process of finalizing the contract for the ceremony/reception site. I'm super excited about it, but at the same time, became very concerned when the numbers came into question. Now, don't get me wrong, my family is not poor, but money is not our strong suite either. God has always been faithful to provide, but as for abundance, I never really knew what that was until I met Kevin. Eating out was reserved for special occasions only, we found stores to provide what we needed, and we made due. I had a great childhood (in terms of financial management), I never knew the difference, until I met Kevin.

Now, Kevin is not rich, nor is his family. But, they do things a bit differently. I traveled more with him, ate out more, and just got introduced to a whole new type of quality. God helped me with this. God promised us abundance, not for ourselves, but so we can bless others, and that's exactly what we plan to do.

God gave us a huge mandate for this wedding, and its not just to get married. We've prayed about every step thus far, from the date, to the venue, to the vendors to see not only what we like, but what God desires. Why? Because God wants to be there. He wants to love on His people, and we're the chosen avenue for that.

Are we extra special? No! Anyone can show God's glory if we're open to it, but God gave us a specific call with specific instructions, and it is our prayer that only He will be seen. Not us. His love for His bride, mirrored in our marriage. So, we're trusting God to provide for His glory. His ultimate provision for His ultimate vision, however He chooses.

I get numerous email devotional, especially from this group of people. However, today I decided to open it. It gave me hope, and a great reminder that went with something Kevin shared with our family yesterday.

To quote Kevin:

"Isaiah says in v. 7-8: Their land is also full of silver and gold, and there is no end to their treasures; their land is also full of horses, and there is no end to their chariots. Their land is also full of idols; they worship the work of their own hands, that which their own fingers have made.

i. This was not an anti-wealth statement. God is not against wealth and riches, and may choose to bless some with significant resources. This is a rebuke of the love of riches, and any trust in wealth.

ii. This was not an anti-work statement. God wants us to work hard, and show forth the work of our own hands, and to see the accomplishments that our own fingers have made. This is a rebuke of the worship of what we have made and what we have done.

... I did feel like this was a gentle reminder to stay focused on what God has planned for this wedding and not come up with our own. This is not to discourage work or preparation, but just an encouragement to stay open to His divine purpose. We received a word from one the ministers at Breath that what we had been praying for, we'd already received. So while we don't know exactly how God's planning on doing it, we do know that His provision is already set for us."

I hope that this blesses someone else as much as it blessed me today. It's all about Him and His glory.

Today's Prayer

Dear God, I present to you my body as a living sacrifice unto You. Please help me to be holy and acceptable, which is my reasonable service (as Your Word exhorts in Romans 12:1). Guide and direct me, protect me from harm and evil, and shine through my life to influence the world around me for You. May You be glorified and may the lost be pointed to Jesus through the testimony of my life. Please keep me pure and forgive me, dear God, of my sins and failures so that I might start afresh, again today. In Jesus' name I pray, amen.

---

Reflecting His Glory
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1, by Os Hillman
08-11-2010

"They will tell of the glory of Your kingdom and speak of Your might, so that all men may know of Your mighty acts and the glorious splendor of Your kingdom." Psalm 145:11-12

How do you measure your effectiveness in God, or should you even be thinking like this? The early Church turned the world upside down in that first century. What made them so effective? Was it their theology? Was it great preaching? Was it due to one man's influence apart from Jesus?

The Scriptures are clear as to what made the early Church effective. It is at the core of God's heart, and it is quite simple. God desires to reflect His nature and power through every individual. When this happens, the world is automatically changed because those who reflect His glory affect the world.

We serve a jealous God. He is a God who will not share His glory with anyone. God sets up situations in order to demonstrate His power through them. He has done this since the day He created man. His desire is to reflect His glory through you and me, so that all men may know of His mighty acts and the glorious splendor of His Kingdom. The apostle Paul understood this principle: "My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power" (1 Cor. 2:4-5). If you do not see His glory being reflected through your life, then you need to ask why. He has promised to do so if we will walk in obedience to His commands.

Today God Is First (TGIF) devotional message, Copyright by Os Hillman, Marketplace Leaders.

Let God demonstrate His power in your life today. Love you guys!

Here's the finale guys! Part three includes some wisdom points from Kevin (things he has learned while courting me), with some input by me, and the conclusion of our story! Hope you enjoyed our little mini-series!

Our Story-Part 2

Here is part two of our story: Our Ministry. I'll post part three later today or tomorrow. Enjoy!

So, I so excited about this post. Thanks to my brother Israel Owolabi we now have a video in which I detail our story. Our story is broken up into three parts. Part one is our story, which basically details how we began our relationship as a couple, including where we met, how we took our relationship to the next level, and other loving things. Check back every day for a new video! (3 part series!)

1. Our story
2. Our ministry/Kevin's wisdom gleaned in our relationship
3. More Wisdom, Conclusion and Recap

Below is part one! Enjoy and leave comments, we encourage interaction! Love you all!

The Wedding Dress:

So yesterday I went dress shopping. It was the single most stressful event surprisingly. Not because the people I took made it stressful. In fact, they were a great crowd, very anti- "say yes to the dress" if you know what I mean. Instead they were kind and loving but I still left extremely disappointed. Dress shopping opened the door to an extreme amount of insecurity in me. I realized that the dresses I loved were overly simple. Meaning, so simple, I would look underdressed for my own affair. Why you might ask? Because that's all I'm comfortable in. I tried on one dress that everyone loved, and I, well, didn't hate but didn't love either. It was a princess type of gown, a-line. While I loved the embellishments, the fit was so not me.

I left that day with a better idea in mind at what I wanted, and a very stark contrast to what God expected. Do I say this to mean that God expects me to be more outlandish? No. But He's been really stretching me with this wedding. This thing is extravagant! As something that is expressing God's love should rightfully be, but its more than I can imagine, and even worse, feel I deserve. I trust God to bring His vision to pass, but honestly, I just feel like a small town girl and that a small town wedding is all I deserve. I've never pictured myself in white, because that was reserved for true virgins in my mind, which reveals my lack of belief that I have really been purified in the blood of Christ. Somewhere in the back on my mind that thought doesn't override what I've always believed. My dad took one look at that dress and said I looked like a princess, and unlike the other dresses, I didn't just blend in with everyone else. He said it looked like it was my day, and I was the bride. My mom almost cried, my sister wouldn't let the train go (she's my maid of honor) and then promptly told me nothing else would look as good as that one. But how do I pick out a dress that screams "its all about me!" when I've centered not only this wedding but my life around Christ being glorified, and serving His people. I mean, I picked out my bridesmaid dresses first, and discovered that the wedding dresses I liked the most put me as just another person on that day.

I left so disappointed with myself for not liking the dress everyone loved, and moreso I think because it donned on me that I don't feel I deserve it. I don't want to be a princess I want to be me, the same ole Brittany, who puts everyone else before herself, and Christ first, no matter what the cost. But where is the balance? I am so conflicted and perplexed on the inside that I honestly don't know how to express it all. What do you mean it's what I want? Huh? Smch…clearly not, because God is trying to elevate me to a level I don't feel I deserve, or ought to accept. It's almost like I don't know how to operate like this. So, to pick a wedding dress is almost like to pick an identity where I get to say, its ok to not be mediocre and settle, and that God desires to bless me with more (even if I don't deserve it). I'm stuck in the mentality, who am I to be chosen to be loved like this? What does this mean to me?

So, the search continues for not only my dress, but for who God really wants me to be? Can I say like Ruth and do what Esther was anointed to do, just because I'm comfortable that way? Or is it time for my period of purification for a lifestyle elevation, just because it's God's plan to bless me to be a blessing? Can I accept it and get there? Only more time with the Father will tell.

Est. In Love (1999)

Eph 3:14-21

14For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15from whom his whole family^a in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,21to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

In 1999, I attend Glenarden Woods Elem. Schoolin the Talented and Gifted Program.I only attended for one year, but in that one year I meet the man that would become my husband. Only one year, but we found each other again later, and after becoming best friends, God revealed to both of us His that we were meant to be. For our wedding, God asked that we would all Him to make it a reflection of His love for everyone, the same example He asked us to make with our relationship. We've agree and this is our journey. This is a journey, not just to our wedding day, but to a day where God's love will be tangibly felt for everyone there. A day where, while our marriage is being established in His love, everyone else can either come to know or bask in the presence of His love. This may sound so extra to you, but I'm honored. God has already begun to do the exceeding and abundant, and I expect Him to do much more! We serve a BIG GOD, and our little problems are nothing in comparison to Him. So I'll hope you'll join us on this journey. It will be fun, funny, challenging, and thought provoking. We will be completely transparent with this process so that only God can be seen. So here we go...est. in love.