A House Built

Kevin and I have taken on the brave task of following through on God's promise to give us a house, so we are house hunting. House hunting is hard as is, especially for 1st time buyers. But to add to the equation, a wedding, and the fact that we are a young couple in full time ministry, you can imagine that makes the task a bit tougher.

Don't get me wrong though. I am not complaining. In my family, and I think his as well, no one has even thought about home ownership at this stage in the game. So many people have suggested getting an apartment, saving up and then going for the house. Great advice, but not God advice.

If you know nothing else about Kevin and I, you should know that as a couple, we boldly follow God's direction, even if it makes no sense, and we trust Him until the end. Not just in this house, but the wedding, our lives together, EVERYTHING. Because as Doobie Powell put it in one of His songs "It's this simple, if it ain't God, it ain't God." So we love you, but don't be hurt if we don't listen. We do seek wise counsel, and that counsel (the wise ones) have never contradicted God's word for our lives. Instead they encouraged and pray with us. We don't neglect wise counsel, and love to ask for help. But, we must also be discerning. If it ain't God, it ain't God.

All that being said, we are forging ahead with God's plan. In this search we have become quite frustrated and discouraged as what's available in our price range, and in the area we need. It's hard. We've liked a couple, lost a couple, and dislike so many more. We've had a lot of trouble in this process, and more disappointment that excitement. But we've also had much laughter along the way. It's been a journey for sure!

One thing we know now after walking through this process, more clearly than ever is this:

Unless the LORD builds the house,

its builders labor in vain.

Unless the LORD watches over the city,

the watchmen stand guard in vain. 

Psalm 127:1

We know now more than ever just how important that is. Somehow we got lost on the way to the altar. We lost focus, and I don't even think we had watchmen at our gate at some points. We quite simply let the outside in. And though we were working together, we got to a point where we realized our relationship was falling apart. We were overworked, and way past stressed. The next verse in that Psalm speaks of God giving His beloved sleep. We certainly were not taking advantage of that. We were not resting in Him.

Before everyone panics, we're fine. Seriously. We just had to shift our priorities and our focus, and now we're on the path to the mend. But a couple of days ago it hit me, "a mend to what?" I asked myself.

Suddenly I remembered a conversation Cherece Lindsay (shout out) and I had a while ago about becoming one in a marriage. We talked about just how hard it is to let go of yourself and become one with another person. Out of that conversation, God gave me this revelation. That most of us are afraid of  losing ourselves in a relationship, and especially in marriage. We want to maintain some identity apart from our spouse. You know, maintain some of who we are. But that was never God's plan. We are commanded to be "One" as they (the Godhead) are one (John 17:22).

When we came to salvation in Christ, we assumed His identity. We became linked to Him. There should be no separate identity without Him. Anything that is, is false, not true, and certainly not who we are created to be. Husbands are admonished in Eph 5:25-27 to love their wives like Christ loves the church. In that same paragraph, wives are encouraged to respect and submit to their husbands.  Let me pause here to discuss submission. 

I'm not sure what the problem is here, except pride. I'm not going to say I have it down, but I don't complain because Christ is the head of the church and we submit to Him. As a matter of fact, I complain when the Church does NOT submit to Christ as the final authority, but the man. I'm the first to admit my flesh does flair up, but if I am to imitate Christ who submitted Himself unto death, I think I need to work hard at making that happen. All this "independent woman" crap has got to go! God designed woman and a helpmeet suitable to man. It's our job to work alongside them to get the job God has assigned to them done. It doesn't make us unqualified or stupid, or belittled. It just makes us in order. Blessings only flow when you're in order. Seriously. I mean, who would ever put money in machine that says its out of order? I mean for real! Then can someone PLEASE tell me why we always expect God to pour into us when we are out of order??? seriously (self included, smacks forehead like duh dummy, get it together!) 

Sigh, Ok, I'm off my soapbox.

Anyhow, I looked up the term "submit" in the greek text. The way it sits grammatically in the text, there is no actual verb used here for the term submit. It can be interpreted that way, but the sentence basically says for wives to "give" themselves to their husbands. But if we use the term in verse 24, we can see that it means to freely place oneself under another person's authority, and as this verse so aptly captures, just as we do with Christ.

In this process, I've been broken numerous times, and so has Kevin. God has reminded us of our desperated need to seek Him everyday, and to never get too busy. He has constantly spoken to us that we will not have a house if our home (our marriage) is in in line and order first. So her we are, a bunch of broken people, in itty bitty pieces. Sad right? Well no actually!

God helped me to see His plan perfectly. All of this God allowed to do one specific thing, unify us, and it's working. God opened our eyes to see this: You can't put two seperate vessels together that are not first broken or melted down and then fused together as one. In other words, He had to do it! God is the master potter, and clay (Diane can tell you ) is best made from sand, not pieces, but sand. You don't want chunks in your pot! So we've gone through it all just to be crushed so we can be rebuilt as one. 

When talking to Cherece, I discovered that the key to unity is not being afraid to lose yourself. I am not supposed to maintain a piece of who I am, I am supposed to become Mrs. Kevin Turner. We are supposed to become one. That doesn't mean that I won't have a say, and it certainly doesn't mean that I disappear. More so, it means, I am not my own. It will take some work, like it did when I first accepted Christ, but I've seen God's vision for our expected end, and its nothing less than a masterpiece. I'm excited.

With that being said, please keep us lifted in this molding process to become man and wife. Pray that our eyes are on guard to keep the outside out, and God in. Pray that we would be unified, and endure the molding process. Pray that God would be glorified on our wedding day as we are presented as a whole vessel, not completed (because we know God will just be beginning then) but whole. And please pray however else you fell led. Pray for our finances in this season. House hunting and a wedding is something completely in God's hand for a miracle. We are being responsible, but we do need prayers for breakthrough and wisdom. Pray for our families, bridal party, and those who will come. Pray that they all be touched by the love of God in a powerful way that day. We have all come such a long way, and each participant in our wedding has truly endured their own struggles. Please, keep them all lifted. View our wedding website www.weddingwire.com/kevinandbrittany2011 for names.

Any questions, please feel free to contact us at the email listed above or any other way you know how to find us. =D 

Love you all dearly,

~Brittany

Assuming is awkward... (Luke 14:7-11 NLT)

7When Jesus noticed that all who had come to the dinner were trying to sit in the seats of honor near the head of the table, he gave them this advice: 8“When you are invited to a wedding feast, don’t sit in the seat of honor. What if someone who is more distinguished than you has also been invited? 9The host will come and say, ‘Give this person your seat.’ Then you will be embarrassed, and you will have to take whatever seat is left at the foot of the table! 10“Instead, take the lowest place at the foot of the table. Then when your host sees you, he will come and say, ‘Friend, we have a better place for you!’ Then you will be honored in front of all the other guests. 11For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

Hey all,

There have been many things that Britt and I have experienced over these pass few months. One of those things has been continuously seen in our interactions with people: The invitation process.

There have been two different groups of people that we've dealt with: The people that are genuinely appreciative, some even surprised, to receive an invite and then the people that expect to be at the wedding. There are some people who we've not had a deeper conversation past, "Hey, how are you doing? Are you done now with college?" that are quite vocal in their surprise that they haven't received a save-the-date. On the other hand, people that have welcomed us into their home, lifted us up in prayer, and not said a thing about the wedding except for how it was going and how they could help have have expressed being honored and even asking if we were sure that we wanted them there because they understood how weddings could be.(!) It's kinda funny because in some cases, the last are becoming first and the first, last.

Now obviously people like my family knows that they are invited but they're also just as enthusiastic about helping this transition Brittany and I are walking through, whether it's wedding planning or house hunting. But it is such a blessing to have these kinds of people because they show genuine concern, love, and appreciation. Simply put, they're humble, and it made me see why God loves to bless people that humble themselves under Him. Because it's a joy to interact with a person that's unassuming. It makes you want to be around them and want to bless them. While this is a personal reflection, I think it's something that applies as a key truth in life. God does oppose the proud, but gives grace, and eventually elevates, the humble. Don't be humiliated before you learn to be humble.

Loosing the Weight

Lately I've been hearing the words "You've lost weight! You look great!" from a lot of people. I've gotten questions about what I'm doing and how I did it, and honestly I had no idea. I didn't realize until I took my engagement shots how much weight I had actually gained. Am I fat? No, but I'm not exactly the skinny little girl I was in high school or my early college years.

But when did I put on the weight? How did this go unnoticed? I remember when my grandmother pointed out how fat I had become, and how hard I worked to get back down to my size 10 frame from a 14 borderline 16 (just eating right folks...seriously). But where did the weight come from?

I'm at home today by myself. Something I haven't been for this long in a long time. No where to go, just homework, housework, and the Lord. So, I asked, "Dad, what did I do to loose it? And where did it come from?" Dad (God) simply responded "It was emotional weight dear. You let go and you lost that weight. There is more, but thats why you're shedding pounds, you've been shedding emotional baggage."

Wow.

I remember all of the pain, hurt, and baggage that I carried through high school, but there was no weight (lbs) then because I choose to ignore my issues and problems as if they would go away once I went off to college. Sike! They magnified because I was on my own and dealing with more at one time then ever. Then I met Christ through a friend who cared enough to reach out to me and take me to Him. He cut open the roof and lowered me down before His feet daily until I understood His love. It was liberating, but not freeing. It didn't take away the baggage meeting Christ, but it let me know that I had a fighting chance at something better.

And I did. I got Kevin (in addition to all the other wonderful things Christ did in my life). I got a best friend, that same friend who placed me before Christ to love and cherish me for the rest of my life. It's breath-taking, and I can't explain how liberating God's love has been to me as Kevin has loved me. I see Christ in him daily. How he brushes back my hair, how he kisses me on my forehead, how he holds me when I'm angry, upset, or confused, and how he's cared when no one else has. And I know, it was all Christ reaching out and making His love tangible through Kevin. Kevin is a real and strong Christian man. He truly reflects Christ. And what I have discovered since we began dating in 2006 is that the more we grown in Christ, the more pounds I've dropped.

Kevin has literally loved the weight off. Hebrews 12:1 states "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Kevin has been my crowd, and has never left the bench. Many days, its been just him and Dad when I look up for inspiration to keep pushing, but God and God working in Kevin to stay put in my life has kept me from feeling alone. As I've run God's race in my life, as I follow God's will for me, with all the obstacles at time I feel like this race is more like a steeplechase than a marathon even! But it's my race, its the one God has marked out for me.

As I run, I drop the weight. I drop the pain of my past, the abuse, the neglect, the rape, the sexual abuse, the guilt of my past mistakes and current failures. As I run, I sweat under the intense pressure and fire that the Lord contains me in, but I drop the weight. Pounds are shedding as I feel lighter on the inside, I've discovered that it manifests in me on the outside.

My life has changed. My habits transformed, and slowly but surely, I'm dropping the weight. So if you see me and wonder, "Wow you look great! How did you do it?" I'll now respond, I trusted God when it didn't seem anyone could be trusted. I let myself be loved by God and then by the man he sent to find me. I admitted my faults before Him (God) and let Him lovingly but firmly craft me into so much more. I opened my eyes to God's goodness and that as His daughter and an heir I was worth so much more. I accepted the fact that I was lost in the world, in my sin, and in the filth of the abuse, but let God give me the royal treatment as a Queen when I came home. I ignored the haters. Yes I ignored those who told me that I was "too deep" all the time, that "it doesn't take all that", and that was just the Christians! I followed God's call even when it didn't make sense to school with no money, to move out on my own simply because he said so, and to STAY WITH KEVIN no matter what because in God's eye with us, "breaks" constituted separations and divorce. I learned to love those that spitefully used me, and love those who hate me. I learned to love. But the most important thing I did was I MADE A CHOICE.

I choose to stick with God, to trust His plan, and to follow Him. I made a choice each time I was convicted to bend to what the bible said not my own or public opinions. I made a choice to give over what I thought I controlled to God for His use and doing. Quite simply, I decided to follow Jesus wholeheartedly in 2005 and I haven't stopped yet. God has been faithful to me and I'm grateful that I can say God is my "life coach" and my "trainer" at the same time. I look to measure up to one person, Christ, and He has been my scale. Through Him I have become free. Through Christ alone have I become truly healthy, and that's my game plan.

Want to loose weight? Check your focus. Look inward before outward and be willing to shed the internal pounds before the external ones. Am I done yet? Absolutely not! But I promise it is encouraging to see change, and to just feel better about yourself.

So come on, join me. Get committed and drop the pounds!

Love,

Brittany

The Big Picture

I used to love puzzles. Absolutely adored them. They were cool, and I enjoyed putting the pieces together to make the bigger picture. I especially enjoyed the ones when I was younger that were only about 30-40 pieces. Children's puzzles were the best, especially as you got older. Did I love the challenge of a 100+piece puzzle every now and again, yes! But honestly, I always needed my dad's help with those.

There aren't a lot of activities I can remember my dad sitting down to do with me, but I can remember our puzzles. He loves them as well. He always challenged me with ones with more pieces, but never let me do it alone. He was always available for help or advice at any turn.

The first thing he would as me was, "Where is the box?" if I didn't already have it set up. I would point to it, how it was laying down, out of sight usually, and only referred to when I thought I needed it. I was often convinced that I could figure it out myself. He would always remind me that I can't put together the puzzle correctly with out the bigger picture. "You didn't make the puzzle Brittany," he would say, "so you need the actual design." Who knew that puzzles would teach me a lesson one day.

My dad has always been very wise, but I've come to find that my heavenly father is wiser. He is the same way with my life. When I was younger and immature, I loved putting my life together into whatever I liked or I thought fit the bigger picture. But as I got older, the pieces of my life grew and it became a lot harder to put it all together, especially since I could never see the top of the box.

Today, or rather this week I was reminded of those puzzles. How my dad was always around to help, and because he was bigger, could always see the picture I had trouble piecing together myself. God reminded me of the same thing. He gave me the "box" and let me get a glimpse of the bigger picture.

Its about serving and Glorifying Him...nothing else. Every piece of the puzzle adds up to that. Everything ultimately is about God and bring Him glory. My wedding, my marriage, which is more important, and every point of my life has to keep the big picture in mind.

I felt like this week I was reminded by my Dad (my heavenly Father), to "set the box up" and keep the bigger picture in mind. I may not know every piece of the puzzle, and its ok to surrender to His "master puzzle maker/assembler" skills. It's not always fun, or comfortable but in the end, the picture will be complete.

Seasons of Maturity (Psalm 1:3)

"... They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do..."

It's crazy to think that 5 years ago this time, I was enjoying my first days of college. Orientation week, the welcome parties, the move-in. Learning about the hotspots of campus, getting free para, etc. It was a brand new season of being on my own; a new place in my life where I was accountable to myself only. But there was something that I began to miss. I missed my friends and my car, I missed having the kind of money where I could go shopping at a whim, and I missed the security of feeling like I belonged. I had to find a new comfort zone, new people w/ common interests, and enjoy new classes with new teachers. Everything was new, and I had to change in order for the next four years of life to not be frustrating, regretful, and a waste of time and money. I had to grow. I had to mature. As much as I wanted to go back to being that popular senior in high school who had the world at his fingertips, I couldn't. I had to learn how to actually grip the world that was in front of me.

Before I knew it, 4 years passed and I was looking at myself in the mirror of my bathroom at the 23th st. dorm with my cap and gown on. "Wow. I'm done. This is it. Where did the time go? Am I ready to graduate? There's so much I didn't get to do. Did I really take advantage of my time here? What am I going to do now? " I was happy but...there I was again...having that familiar feeling of being moved from a place I'd finally grown into to something unknown. I was happy that I'd accomplished my goal of graduating from college. I walked across the stage with my family and girlfriend watching and cheering. I went to the Grad Alley Party and saw so many classmates and teachers that I was about to say goodbye to. I took the train to the new Yankee Stadium and became apart of the current of purple amidst the sea of other graduates pouring into the back gates. I watched the processional, speeches, and performances. And then it was done...my room was vacant of all things that marked my presence, my boxes were shipped, and I was on a bus at Penn Station headed through the tunnel for the last time. Mixed emotions ran through me as I watched the tall buildings get further and further away. Another season began.

Now here I stand. Engaged. Working. Wedding-planning and house-hunting. I spent the last couple of months frustrated because I seemed unproductive in my music. I wasn't getting the deep revelations to teach like before. I wasn't operating in some of my gifts like I was before. Is there something wrong with me? I was desperately trying to get in touch with God to see if I'd somehow gotten so far away from Him without knowing. But through a simple question posed by Brittany: "Do you feel like we've grown in our relationship?", my eyes and ears were opened. It's another season. God is not as concerned with me writing worship songs, teaching deep words, or even interpreting visions and dreams as He is about me learning to become a husband that can cover his wife. Instead of searching out the deep mysteries, I needed to learn how to have a devotional time with Brittany so we can start our day unified and focused on the Kingdom. Vision and dream interpretation doesn't mean much if I have no vision or discernment of where to lead my family. Now life's not just about me. It's about me and my future wife. The fruit for this season should be seen in my relationship with her and everything else pertaining to it.

My intention wasn't to make this a 'lesson' or 'devo' or something, but it's really a transparent view into my journey into man/husband-hood. For me, this scripture is not just a scripture but a principle that I'm learning to apply. David says that men (and women) of God bear fruit in each season, and that their leaves never wither. This preceding verse says the ability to do that comes from delighting and meditating on God's law. As I look more and more at my morning readings, I'm seeing that it's right in step with where God's leading me as far as character development and walking with Him, which in turn will make me the son I'm meant to be to Him and the husband I'm meant to be to Britt.

Balance vs Change

OK, so I'm in a season in my life where everything is changing. I mean everything. You name it, odds are something is happening. I've determined that this IS good thou! God is changing me to be more like Him, and conforming me to His image. With that being said, I pose these questions to my followers:

What are your priorities? How do you balance a busy lifestyle? More importantly, how do you adapt to the curve balls God throws you?

I'll respond this weekend with an update of the wedding plans to date! Love you all!

The God Chisel

In this time of transition, this skit by the Skit Guys blessed me so much today. Hope your encouraged by it today as well.